Even idiots can learn... finally!

Note: Many Feng Shui schools teach many different things. The most confused and most argued about topic is on 'how' to take the correct measurement using a Luo Pan; be it for Yang or Yin House. Seems like one school in particular has admitted, accepted and learned something NEW! Below are the unprecedented proofs...

In the past, taking the Luo Pan measurement 3 feet away


In the past, taking the Luo Pan measurement in the middle of nowhere


Boot-licker with precision compass in the middle of idiot-land


In this position, there was definitely no magnetic influence





And finally, the 'Just Young Mammal Amateur' took a 'private' lesson from my Master!





Presently, their students take the Luo Pan measurement against the headstone...


... with a BIG grin on the face!

"What happened to the magnetic influence eh?"

The versatility of the word 'FUCK'

Perhaps one of the most versatile and colourful words in the English Language today is the word 'fuck'. It is one magical word which just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love.

'Fuck' falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an active verb (John really gives a fuck) or a passive verb (Mary doesn’t really give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John) and a noun (Mary is a fine fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful). As you can see, there are not many words with the versatility of 'FUCK'.

Besides its sexual connotation, this lovely word can be used to describe many situations:

FRAUD - I got fucked by my insurance agent.
DISMAY - Oh, fuck it!
TROUBLE - I guess I’m fucked now!
AGGRESSIVE - Fuck you!
PASSIVE - Fuck me!
CONFUSION - What the fuck!
DIFFICULTY - I can’t understand this fucking business.
DESPAIR - Fucked again.
PHILOSOPHICAL - Who gives a fuck?
INCOMPETENCE - He’s all fucked up!
LAZINESS - He’s a fuck-off!
DISPLEASURE - What the fuck is going on?
REBELLION - Oh, fuck it!


It can be useful in descriptive anatomy – He’s really a fucking asshole!
It can be used to tell time – It’s five fucking thirty.
It can be used in business – How did I get this fucking job?
It can be a prediction – Oh, will I get fucked?
It can be maternal – as in “Motherfucker!”
It can be nautical – Fuck the admiral!
It can be political – Fuck Trudeau!
It can open the door to wonderful relationships – “Let’s fuck!”
It can be used just to enhance the meaning of a word – as in “Beutyfuckingful or Terfuckingific.”

The mind fairly boggles at the many creative uses. How can anyone be offended when you say FUCK! Use it in your daily speech, it adds to your prestige.

Today, tell someone, FUCK YOU!

Toilet Training

Note: A sign found in a toilet somewhere in China.

If your tool is an extra inch longer,

you need not step up any closer.

Ladies & gentlemen, introducing... ... ...

... the very infamous Crappy the Crab. When Crappy bites, he won't let go until his victim is dead, and then he will eat it! Slurp! Slurp! Slurp! Hey! Crappy is going on holiday tomorrow lah! And he promises to share any crap stories that he may discover along the way. That's a promise not to be broken. Check it, check it, baby! Auf Wiedersehen!